About Me

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I am a dedicated wife and mother who never just do as I am told. I prefer to make up my own mind.Not afraid to go upstream.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Raising a Girl With Pride

A week ago, we went to visit my grandparents. My husband wanted to help them to get two new sofa's delivered at home. My granny was very nervous, because the woman who sold them the sofa's is extremely wealthy, and she was afraid to be frowned upon.

Everything went fine. The sofa's got delivered and the woman came in to have some tea. We were all sitting and chatting while my husband gave my little girl the brand new tea set that he bought while he was waiting for the sofa's in town (extra entertainment is always welcome during a weekend trip and a tea set provides ours of peace for us).

The woman started playing with her, pouring real tea in the cups and then, all of a sudden, she dropped the bomb. She mentioned that it was so strange for her to see how our little girl is playing with the tea set because they raised their granddaughters to be tomboys. They only got to play with cars and quad bikes. My brow raised instantly and it got me thinking.

I am all for the idea that you shouldn't be guilty of stereotyping when you are raising a child, but if you raise a little girl only to be like a boy, what message are you sending out? I don't see what is so good about learning your little girl that it is not good enough to be a woman. I want her to be proud of who she is. I believe in balance. I allow her to play with all types of toys, whether it's a doll; a tea set; a car or even farm animals or action figures. Anything that allows for creativity to flow is fine with me.

There is no excuse for making your little girl feel that a woman is inferior. We are amazing, complicated creatures who can do anything and if we choose to do "woman stuff" it is still ok. After all, we can do special things that men can't do, like bearing a child.

This brings me to the question: Is the world putting too much pressure on women? A few decades ago, women was getting married as teenagers and education was bleak. Today, the average woman gets married much later and they received education that rivals those of men.Believe me, I am all for women being able to work and vote and all that jazz, but how does this change things? Everything should be better now, but society advanced in certain areas and got stuck in other. A big plus for female independence, but what about the effect on society? How did society adapt to the change in female lifestyle?

Look at the massive amount of young single mothers with no means to look after their kids. Women used to be taught that they should wait until they got married before having sex and it was easy to do this, because they got married as soon as they were sexually developed. Nowadays, women go to study and start a career before thinking of marriage and children and they learn that it is okay for women to be just as sexually active as men, but yet, society still frown upon mothers with kids out of wedlock.

Furthermore, women fulfill all this new roles and what does society do to help them? The female workload have doubled. They still juggle homework and kids with their jobs. If this isn't hard enough, they have to deal with more kid trouble due to a lack of supervision. How many men are really equally involved in the domestic aspects in a relationship? Hats off to those who are, but they are truly a rare breed.

After the birth of my daughter, my entire perspective has changed. I realized that I will not be able to do it all and excel in everything, hence I made the choice to stay at home.This isn't what I saw myself doing before I got pregnant, since I'v also got a degree behind my name, but I decided to follow my heart and do what is best for my daughter.

Don't get me wrong: I don't have a problem with women in careers. I think you must be super beings. Respect to you all. It just seem like, the more modernized things get, the more our lives get complicated. I'm most definitely not trying to talk for everyone, but to me it feels like it is expected of women to ignore their natural instincts and try to be like men and this is not what I want to teach my daughter.I want her to grow up being truly liberated. She can be who ever she wants to be, but most of all, I want her to know that it is okay to be different. I am not planning to label her or push her into any mould. What I do expect of her is to be happy and proud to be a woman.